Typing this blog was really one of the hardest things I have done as a adult. Many times when I meet people who have lost a love one, I always seem to tell them remember your love one is still around and watching over you so be strong on and move on.

Well I must say the feeling is not the same when I got then news in Rome about my love one.

on July 27th 2017 as I was sitting in Rome homeschooling my 8yr old son, my phone rings and with a smile on my face I saw it was my auntie in Holland whom kids and I just left from visiting her the night before. So I actually thought she was calling me to check and see if we made it back in Rome safely…. then she said those words I will never forget in my existence…”Mavis auntie Cynthia is dead”…I was stuck on the phone for at least 60 seconds just waiting for her to say not the woman i considered my mother…but yes it was….I have not idea how I held myself as I could not handle the pain I was feeling in my heart the pain of loosing someone so dear to you is one of the most explainable pain I have had to explain…

My beautiful and such a caring auntie has moved on unexpectedly and I was not in Ghana to say goodbye…I could not get to tell her that very moment how grateful I was to have her in my life and how she has inspired me to be a better woman, wife and mother.

My auntie Cynthia was the one I always call to get some advice on family and being a wonderful woman in life…because she was a representation of just that.

That 27th July 2017 on a hot Thursday afternoon everything I was experiencing had come to a stand still..as much as I have read all the great books that explains that death is not the experience of loosing someone but its just the change of the person human form to a soul that I still have the power to connect with anytime I wish too…this pain will not allow me practice this very lesson.

Has I walked into our bedroom and just wanted to be held by my husband and to feel his touch to help comfort…my magnificent husband decided to buy me a one way ticket back to Ghana to be with my family in Ghana.
That evening my husband took me to the termini central station to catch the bus to the airport and get on a flight back to Ghana. while flying back to Ghana with people and all the energy around me I did not really grief and all was fine….until..

I arrived in Ghana at my east legon home and walked into the bedroom and all I saw was my auntie, her presence as she will always come and sit in a rocking chair that is sitting in my room and we just talked about life and she has a drink which is malt. her presence was all over my room….and I was scared…very scared and all I did was cry and cry and cry…my mother and auntie is gone…she is gone and all the memories that she and I created are all I have.

Then my amazing mother in-law told me that I should go into my bedroom alone and talk to my auntie and let her know that I love her dearly and will make sure her 2 sons will have my love and I will help take care of them. I first thought that was weird and scary too…

But I did that…and with tears and some laughs I talked to my auntie Cynthia and I made sure she knows that I will always love her boys and will be there for them…I also told her how much I will miss her and how much truly loved and appreciated her love and care through my years of growing up and even when I become a mother…

Now the question is did it help….? and my answer is yes it did…I was able to stay in the room by myself and all i remember of my auntie is her lovely smiles and memories that we shared. now all I do is just love her boys and allow them to know that their mother’s love lives on and on and on…

gone forever But truly always in our hearts….we will miss you so much mother and auntie to many of us.

Tribute for my auntie Cynthia…